Dating and relationships aren’t easy. Men and women are very different by nature in so many ways. If you are wondering what a Russian woman looks for in a man, this article will give you the insight into this complicated dynamic. Without further ado, let’s get started.
The good qualities in men:
A sense of humor. The ability to make a woman laugh is a true skill which keeps the relationship fun and enduring. But it doesn’t mean a man should keep telling women jokes all the time, because there is a difference between being funny and being a clown.
Confidence. True confidence can’t be faked because it’s backed up by competence. If a man has core confidence, women will know he has competence.
The ability to lead. I used to say, “In a relationship, as a man, you either lead, or be misled.” Think about salsa – can you imagine a woman leading the dance? Would that look natural?
Intelligence. Women usually want to date men that they actually admire. If a man has brains, women tend to find him attractive because women can always learn something from him.
Ambition. Ambitious men are sexy. If a man has a vision and works hard for his goal, he becomes a magnet that attracts women around him, because he talks with certainty and passion.
The ability to provide and protect. Men and women have had different roles for thousands of years. Although women can also have jobs in today’s day and age, they still expect their men to have the ability to provide and protect (it doesn’t mean a man must be the breadwinner of the family).
Charisma. Charismatic men are more likely to do well in many ways, no matter it’s about career or love life. A man doesn’t have to be good-looking, but ideally, he should have charisma. Examples are Will Smith, Bill Clinton and Richard Gere.
The ability to be unreactive in situations where most people become too emotional. Being more emotional is actually feminine energy. If you observe most successful men, you will notice that they don’t become emotional easily. For instance, when a woman argues with her husband, the result wouldn’t be too good if her husband becomes too emotional.
The ability to listen to her. When a woman talks to her partner about something (or even a problem), she isn’t necessarily looking for a solution. Most of the time, she just wants to share some information and connect with her partner. Yet many men would simply give her a solution and stop listening, which is so wrong.
Respect. This is the last element, but it’s also the most important element. There is a difference between liking a woman and respecting a woman. Respect is the prerequisite of everything.
Russian women want true love rather than basic attachment.
Love is based on emotional connection, whereas attachment is based on selfish reasons. A mentally and emotionally healthy person not only has the need to be loved, but also has the need to love someone. In other words, love should be based on a true connection between two people. On the other hand, attachment usually happens when one person has selfish reasons for keeping someone in their life, e.g. this person dealt with abandonment in his/her childhood, so it’s hard to be single and alone.
Love is best characterized by mutual respect, whilst attachment is best characterized by controlling behavior. The fundamental prerequisite of love is respecting each other in a relationship. Without respect, a relationship won’t be sustainable in the long run. In contrast, because attachment is caused by selfish factors, it usually includes controlling behavior such as manipulating someone and playing mind games – these may “work” in the short term, but in the long term, controlling behavior never leads to a happy relationship.
Love leads to a long-term commitment, while attachment leads to a painful breakup. When a relationship is built on love, it will grow into an everlasting commitment, because two people both feel nurtured by the genuine connection and can grow together. On the contrary, when a relationship is built on attachment, it will only lead to a breakup sooner or later, as one person is always taking and the other person is always giving – that violates the Law of Balance in dating and relationships; therefore, it has to end up in a painful breakup.
What about infatuation?
Men are much more likely to feel love at first sight. Statistics show that love at first sight happens to men much more frequently and it’s less likely for women to experience that. Further examination reveals that men fall in love faster than women. Experts in Australia and the United States claim that men can be turned on easily because men are very visual; in contrast, women’s sexuality is contextual, so usually, it takes more than something visual to turn on women. That’s why men are more likely to feel romantic attraction for a stranger upon the first sight of that person. To be more precise, that kind of feeling should be called “attraction at first sight” rather than “love at first sight”.
Your intuition is always right – this is especially true for women. Marie Forleo (author of Make Every Man Want You) argues that a woman would be well-advised to listen to her body, because in general, women’s intuition is stronger than men’s intuition, and this intuition comes from a woman’s body. For example, when a woman meets a man, if her body feels contraction, that oftentimes means he isn’t the right man for her because her body never lies. By contrast, if her body feels expansion, that means he is probably all right. Sadly, many women have become too analytical in this day and age, because they believe that in order to be successful, the emotional brain should be switched off and the analytical brain has to be switched on. Consequently, a lot of women ignore red flags when they meet men – they use their logic to convince themselves that certain men are the right men for them because these men have money, status and power – that’s when standards become a checklist, which looks good initially, but that’s not the most helpful way to look for a partner.
We should appreciate attraction at first sight and enjoy the magic. Overall, no matter you are a man or a woman, attraction at first sight gives you a sign: “I like this person”. Now, please don’t use your logical brain to assess how you feel immediately. Just embrace the wonderful feeling and enjoy it. If you are going to make it an official relationship, you can ask yourself this question: What are my non-negotiables when it comes to dating and relationships? If your non-negotiables are looked after, you can begin a relationship which will probably be sustainable and stable in the long term.
“Love-at-first-sight is beautiful, but Russian women say true love is valuable.”