Picture this: A man walks into a club and then each and every single woman holds her breath. His stride oozes an aura of confidence that is reminiscent of a fairy tale prince who will save a damsel in distress in a heartbeat. He has a smile that women dream of waking up to. His lips are the kind that spouts the most romantic words that have the power of weakening women’s knees. He has five o’clock shadow that highlights the outline of his jaws. His tie matches the color of his eyes, which shines like a light at the end of the tunnel. Underneath his button downs and blue jeans is a body that could keep a woman up all night and could put Hercules and the rest of the Roman and Greek gods to shame. Women crane their necks to follow his every movement. It’s love at first sight. He approaches a woman doing her best to impersonate Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. The other women become red with jealousy. The man opens his mouth. Then the pretty woman grabs her purse and drink and proceeds to walk away from the man.
If you’re a guy, you’d feel instant hate for that man because he’s a total chick magnet. After witnessing the pretty woman leave him and retreat to being alone again, you’d start doubting yourself because if a man like that can’t get a girl, then what are the chances that you will ever go to a club again without the intention to find a girl.
If you’re a woman, you’ll let out a sigh of relief and thank the gods above for sparing you from an encounter that has the potential to ruin the rest of your night. You remind yourself that you will never ever judge a man based on his physical appearance alone. Your girlfriends all nod their heads in agreement and begin pursuing a conversation about how love at first sight leads to disappointment quicker than you can apply lipstick on your lips. Then, you and your girlfriends’ conversation shift to a discussion of the wonders of online dating.
Ah, yes, online dating. It’s arguably the best thing since sliced bread. Online dating saves single women everywhere from the horrors of horrible first encounters with men, who might as well work at a nightmare factory. Single women no longer have to invest and waste their emotions on pretty boys whose personalities are a total opposite of their handsome looks. All that’s required is taking a look at the man’s online dating profile, and if he’s not the type of man she’s looking for, she can just move on to the next guy’s profile.
For every two men, there’s one woman searching for that special connection on dating sites. That’s not too bad, is it? Theoretically, no. After all, there exist men out there who can brag about how they found love through online dating. Yet, how come many guys find it nearly impossible to even be noticed by women on online dating sites, much less get a date?
The answer to many of a man’s dilemma can be found in the situation. As soon as the dashing man opened his mouth, all the tiny hearts floating in the club evaporated. If you’re a decent-looking and good-natured man who fails to get any responses from women on online dating sites, perhaps it’s time to take another look at your profile and give it a makeover.
Here are the worst things a man can say in his online dating profile:
- “I’m looking for a woman who is physically fit.”Physical fitness often serves as a reliable sign of one’s physical health. A person who is looking for love ideally wants someone healthy. After all, no one ever dreams of losing their love to a fatal disease.Nevertheless, a man who writes in his online dating profile that he is looking for a woman who is physically fit elicits a negative reaction from the women whom he reaches out to or from those who land in his online dating profile.According to psychotherapist and relationship guru April Masini, stating that they are in search of a physically fit woman often translates to, “I’m a shallow guy.” Masini interviewed women from the online dating scene and discovered women’s perhaps not so surprising views on men who specify that they are looking for ladies who are physically fit.Masini related that when a physically fit man requires a physically fit woman, he comes across as someone who is more concerned with developing his body rather than his mind. On the other hand, a man who comes from the other end of the physical fitness spectrum is viewed by women as someone who wants to date a woman who fits society’s beauty standard instead of a lady with substance.This does not come as a surprise since the utmost source of women’s insecurities is their body. The love guru explained that women who have a few extra pounds to lose are terrified by the idea of baring their naked figures in front of a new guy.
Instead of saying, “I’m looking for a woman who is physically fit,” Masini suggested that men write, “Must love a guy who loves going to the gym,” in their online dating profiles.
- “No drama, please.”A huge fraction of the participants on the online dating scene have had their hearts broken one way or another. Heartbreaks are unarguably traumatizing. When in pursuit of love, people want something for the keeps. But, people also avoid those with extra baggage, be it a horrible breakup or children.Such is the reason why some men do not think twice about writing, “No drama, please,” in their online dating profiles. Yes, adding “please” does not make it polite. That is because expecting women to be free of drama is downright rude.The relationship expert said that men who say this in their online dating profiles are basically expecting women to have a spotless history. And they have no right to, given that literally, everyone has drama.Masini further said that men who come to the online dating scene with such expectations are those who have had their own slice of dramas and are merely projecting whatever baggage they may have onto their potential dates. This also drives away divorced women or single mothers who might be interested in men who say such things in their online dating profiles. Chances are these three words are what preventing women from responding.
The relationship guru added that a man who does not hesitate to say that he is looking for a woman with “no drama, please” has little to no tolerance for common challenges in a relationship.
“Anyone who has a normal child knows there is drama involved in parenting. Anyone who’s in a normal marriage knows there’s occasionally drama in any healthy, happy relationship,” Masini explained.
Not thinking twice is precisely the problem of the be-perfect-or-move type of guy. Masini suggested that men replace those three words with something along the lines, “I’m looking for a peaceful, idyllic, and happy relationship.”
- “I enjoy kissing, hugging, and touching.”Who does not? Kisses and hugs are two of the most precious things in the world. But if everyone enjoys kissing, hugging, and touching, how come it is one of the worst things a man can say in his online dating profile? Masini explained that to women who read such things in a man’s online dating profile. Masini called this the “hookup alert.” She explained that while “most people enjoy kissing, hugging, and touching someone they feel close to,” modern women want nothing to do with men who are looking for a physical relationship only. “If a guy advertises his to strangers, he’s warning you there’s going to be kissing, hugging, and touching early on in the relationship. And sex. Early and often. Anyone looking to get to know him before doing these things need not apply,” the psychotherapist said. This claim is further backed by a survey. Apparently, men who allude to physical action in their online dating profiles are 48 percent less likely to get responses compared to men who consciously avoid such references in their online dating profiles.Masini recommended deleting such references from men’s online dating profiles and replacing them with, “I’m looking for a woman who is warm and empathetic.”
To all the men out there, it is high time to revisit your online dating profiles. If you have said any or all of these things, rewrite your online dating profiles according to Masini’s suggestions. Chances are these are the only reasons why you’re still searching for love until now.