When two people meet each other for the first time, they may fall in love due to the chemistry, which is common and understandable. But chemistry has a changeable nature – that also explains why nobody can rely on chemistry alone in relationships. So, what’s more reliable?
Chemistry VS spark
Chemistry is the feelings that you have for someone due to what you see, whereas spark is oftentimes the little moments that make you really like someone, e.g., you’ve been flirting with a lady throughout the night and before she leaves, you ask her, “Have you called a taxi?” (That means you are flirtatious and serious at the same time because you genuinely care about her safety – this combination makes your personality unique, so in that moment, she feels the spark immediately.)
Attraction VS love
You are attracted to someone because of visual chemistry, the perceived challenge and that person’s perceived value. When you say you like a woman because of the way she views this world and the way she explains things, you are deeply attracted to her inner world.
Love is based on attraction. When you feel attracted to someone for a long time, you are actually in love. Congratulations!
How to stay in love forever:
Usually, the excitement that you feel at the very beginning of a romantic relationship can only last for about 1.5 – 2 years maximum, as nobody can stay excited for a lifetime. That means those who stay married forever can do that not because they are excited all the time, but because they have figured out something else: Their relationships are built on mutual respect, long-term attraction, genuine love and shared values.
Love is absolutely essential because you only live once – you only have one life – you are entitled to enjoy true love. I have a female friend who has never had a real relationship due to various reasons, but now she is a ghostwriter who writes romance novels. When she told me what she does for a living, I was a bit surprised, but then I realized something: We all want to indulge in what we didn’t have in the past. Because this female friend never had a real romantic relationship, she needs a way to feel romantic. That’s why she has decided to write romance novels as her career. Having said that, I would argue that although she says she has never had a real relationship, that’s probably black-and-white thinking. In my opinion, there are different shades of gray: though her previous relationships were not high-quality relationships, I wouldn’t say all of those relationships were not real. If we can appreciate different shades of gray in life, we will be able to embrace the realism that we face in this world.
Another female friend of mine is a sales assistant in a premium department store. Actually, she has two degrees and had very good jobs previously. Due to COVID-19, she lost her job at a well-known organization. After that, she decided to sell clothes in the most premium department store and here is her rationale: When she was a child, she never had any good clothes to wear. Therefore, now she just wants to be with premium clothes.
By the way, Dita Von Teese has a similar story: When she was young, she was never glamorous, so she decided to be glamorous as an adult. That’s why she has the most glamorous job in the world.
Now I’d like you to ask yourself what you didn’t have when you were a child. That could be something that makes you very happy now. Also, ask yourself what you enjoyed doing when you were a child – and do that more frequently now. I’m sure you will be happier as a result.
When you are a confident and happy guy, you will be ready to start your international dating journey! 😉
“Everyone is entitled to real love because we all need to be loved, supported and nourished on this planet.”