We’re not here to remind you of the bitter end, we’re here to show you the start of a new beginning. Whether or not you’re the one emotionally affected by the divorce, it doesn’t matter, what matters is that you’re happy. However, what if your version of happiness is having someone to love you? This is considering that you’re recently divorced with three kids. Plus, you’re stuck paying the alimony. In this process, you may be looking for something or perhaps someone. But, you find it difficult to find someone new when you’ve spent the last 10 or even 15 years with one person. Basically, in this sense, you don’t know how to date anymore. What can you do?
We’re here to help you gain your confidence back. Take some of these tips into account. We understand how difficult it is to date at the beginning as it has definitely been some time since your last date. Here are some tips on how to gain your confidence back as well as how to date.
Gaining Your Confidence
There’s a lot you can do to help yourself get back out in the dating world. Although you may be shy at getting to know someone new, online dating can help you with this. Besides saving the awkward face to face talks, you can hide behind a screen for a while. However, we don’t recommend you stay just behind the screen. After a few chats, you two will have to agree on whether you’ll meet face to face or not. So, before that even happens, check these things to gain your confidence.
#1 Get out there
Although as a newly divorced individual everything will seem so new and terrifying. However, this exhilarating feeling won’t last long when you go out there. You’ll need to broaden your horizons socially. So, don’t stick with the same couple friends you had back when you were married. You can see them, yes, but get out of your comfort zone. You can go online on online dating sites, join a sports club or even join a speed dating event. In a nutshell, don’t expect to find love in the middle of your living room.
#2 Revamp your image
After a long time of not dating, ten years or more can be a long time of absence. The dating world isn’t as easy as it used to be. Or, at least meeting someone who isn’t as busy won’t be busy. Therefore, try your options. Online dating is a thing, and it’ll help you reach out to the rest of the world. So, if you can, find a good friend to look and assess your new style. If you’re going to choose online dating, ask a friend to help you pick your best photos. It’s possible to also let him see your written online profile.
#3 Learn to flirt
This is an important thing to know: learning and knowing how to flirt. Even if your years in a long-term relationship have diminished your flirting skills, you’re just going to have to practice. And by practice, we mean there’ll be a lot of attempts that will fail. But, you’ll know everything you need to know about your flirting skills. You can ask questions, look interested as well as compliment people. These things you can start with. If all else fails, Google and learn!
#4 Every opportunity is an opportunity
Remember that you can grab any opportunity that comes your way to date. Everything is an opportunity to possibly get a date. You could be in the office, the train, or even at a friend’s birthday party. All you have to do is open your eyes and see all the possible potential partners you still have time to meet. However, be reminded that you shouldn’t come off as creepy. Sometimes, your future partner may be someone you’ve known as a friend for years. To broaden your horizon, you can use the internet to your advantage. You can sign up to online dating or use social media to connect.
#5 Don’t be too picky
After going all through gathering yourself, you’ll have to realize that you can’t be picky. Don’t get us wrong by thinking that having multiple dates isn’t a good thing. It definitely is, and it’s a good start in gaining your confidence back. However, you’ve got to remember that you can’t be too picky as no one is perfect. This even includes you. If you’re in doubt about how you feel, try a second or third date. But, don’t keep seeing someone for a long period of time you don’t like. This may end up being more difficult for you, and you may be toying with someone’s feelings.
Creating An Online Dating Profile
Creating an effective profile for online dating has proven to be quite difficult. But, with a little help, you should be able to convey the proper profile you want. Plus, we’ll help you make it as effective as possible, so you’ll get responses. Although we can’t 100% guarantee that every girl will reply to your messages, we can assure you that there’ll be some responses.
Ask for help
As mentioned earlier, it’s better to have someone help you revamp yourself. It’s best to pick someone that know you better than you know yourself.
Avoid the typical
By typical, we mean cliches. Avoid these as much as possible like walking on the beach or drinking some wine while sitting in front of a bonfire/fire. Even if you do like doing these thing, there are a lot more people who do these so your profile may not stand-out. If you can, add something that could spark interest and start a conversation when read.
According to relationship expert Kate Taylor, “People have to imagine how they’ll fit into your life, so describing yourself as a “bookworm and internet addict” makes them feel they’d never see you.” So, list some sociable hobbies like something sporty or public.
As much as possible, avoid negative tones. Remember you’re showing off that you’re confident and positive.
Honesty is really the best policy! (And, lying doesn’t get you too far in online dating, especially if your lies are too good to be true.)
This is one thing that people who sign up to online dating sites forget. You’ve got to keep your profile up to date. If possible, update your profile on a regular basis and edit relevant information you can add or remove about yourself.
Check the grammar
It’s a turnoff for some to see poor grammar. Plus, it’s a well-known statistic that men with a profile that exhibits great grammar and spelling are more likely to have responses.
These tips should help you get started on creating your soon-to-be new and improved self! Don’t forget to have fun, but don’t go breaking hearts in the process.