While you are a newbie on a dating site where you can meet ladies from Russia, you may want to learn this structure: There are a few steps when you are looking to build a relationship with a woman on a dating website. Interestingly, dating and sales/marketing are very similar because you are selling an idea to a woman; in sales & marketing, there are four steps: engagement – building trust – building relationships – selling something. Similarly, the way you approach internet dating can also incorporate these four steps as long as you are well-calibrated and know how to adjust things according to the context.
Ask “How are you?” so you’ll be able to use an uncommon word quickly and get her attention immediately.
This step is called engagement. You engage her attention first. She will say “I’m fine. Thank you. How are you?” Then you say “I feel sprightly.” Now you use an uncommon word to get her attention fast. She will pay attention to every word you say.
You say “I’m [insert your name]. What’s your name?”
Usually, many men would combine Step 1 with Step 2, so the message is “I feel sprightly. 😊 I’m David. What’s your name?” to get a better impact. But you need to know these are actually two different steps in psychology.
You tell her your name first, so she will have to tell you her name due to Law of Reciprocity. This step is called building trust. (I know sharing names isn’t really a big deal, but this step helps two people feel like they aren’t total strangers anymore instantly.) Remember to use her name in your messages later on, e.g., “Thanks for sharing that, Victoria. I’m impressed.” (She feels closer to you psychologically because you mention her name often.)
Use story-telling to your advantage.
No, I’m not saying you will write stories and show her what you’ve written. I mean dull questions don’t require dull answers. In other words, if she asks you basic questions such as “How was your day today?”, you shouldn’t say “It’s good.” In fact, you should give her a longer answer such as “Today I’m in a very good mood because I just bought Robert Greene’s new book. I’m really looking forward to reading this book.” In this way, you indicate: 1) You have an interesting lifestyle with hobbies such as reading. 2) You value knowledge.
I’m sure this lady from Russia will find your response fascinating. As a result, you are building a relationship with her through story-telling.
How to ask a Russian lady out:
This principle not only applies to dating, but also applies to all human interactions in many ways.
You send this text message to the person you are interested in meeting: “Hi [insert name]. This Friday afternoon I’m going to Starbucks. The music there is really good. Would you like to join me?” Then based on that person’s response, you will be well-calibrated and find a good time to meet up.
Because you add something like “the music there is really good”, there is an external focus – apart from meeting you in person, she has one more reason to go to Starbucks, so she psychologically feels keener to go there.
If you have some “nice guy syndrome”, you need to remember: your attitude / tone should be kind, but your message should be more aggressive. When you say the place is cool or interesting, you have to be specific, e.g., “the music there is really good”, “the coffee there is the best I’ve ever had”, “they have the most phenomenal Italian food in town”, etc. In this way, you are using an external focus to convince her, so she feels that she shouldn’t miss out on something awesome (without feeling being persuaded by you). That’s how you spark more interest organically.
“Ladies from Russia are attracted to alpha men.”