When people stay in long-term relationships, they often become complacent in their experiencing of love because they are used to the security. However, it’s very important to remain romantic in an international relationship – you have to make sure the spark is alive.

  • Why is the beginning of a new relationship so exciting?

When you meet someone and fall in love, the newness leads to excitement because your brain is filled with passion and you find your new partner interesting. At the initial stage of a relationship, your brain is fully engaged and releasing a large amount of oxytocin, endorphins and dopamine. When these positive feelings are flowing in your body freely, you feel amazing. What’s more, you are thinking about being with your soulmate and living together happily ever after – all of these ideas reinforce your positive emotions.

Nevertheless, after many years, your partner is not new anymore; she becomes someone that you are very familiar with. Your brain starts to get used to her, so perhaps you don’t see her as fun / fascinating any longer. You begin to think that your grandparents’ complacent marriages are normal and common. As a consequence, you might go into automatic mode with your wife, with your expectations and impressions of her. You might even get bored or boring (or both) in most aspects of your relationship.

Please don’t be a slave to your preconditioning in your love life. You can direct your attention to your romantic relationship if you want to. The most paramount element of mindfulness in a long-term relationship is paying attention to your partner. In this way, you will be able to override certain old automatic impressions, thereby seeing your partner as she really is. When you see her afresh, she is not the same old partner that you wake up next to year after year. She is an ever-changing individual that you interact with. You discover something new about her each day.

international relationship

  • How to be romantic forever:

Your wife isn’t just your co-mortgage-owner or co-parent. She is your partner and best friend in life.

Note that your skill of intentional attention helps you see her as your romantic partner, no matter how long you’ve been married. You appreciate her. You notice her. You enjoy her. Most importantly, you are drawn to her as your romantic partner. When you spend quality time with her, you are completely present to the moment because she is your loving partner.

Romantic ideas for you:

  1. Write a love letter to her. If you can’t write very well, you may consider hiring a ghost-writer who is able to write romantic poems on your behalf.
  2. Sing a song for her. Why not record a CD and give it to her as a precious present that she will cherish forever?
  3. Send a text message “I miss you already” to her after she left the house for work in the morning.

Indeed, when you pay more attention to your partner, your international relationship becomes more engaging, more meaningful and more connected.

“If you would like to have a conscious international relationship, please remember to pay more attention to your partner so that you will remain romantic.”